Lilian

From the interview:

'The Scouts are my second family. I've been going since I was six, when I didn't even dare to speak out loud. Scouting has given me so much self-confidence, even with my mental health issues. Also later on, when I was physically deteriorating. "Everything is possible" is the motto there. On Saturdays, I am the leader of the Horse Riding Group, which consists of girls and boys aged 11 to 15 who go to a riding school once a month. Yesterday, I taught the youngest ones how to pitch a tent by asking them questions.

I try to be happy with myself. That's kind of hard because I have a pretty difficult mental past, with autism and an eating disorder. My stomach and intestines didn't work properly, so eating was difficult. The only thing I could control was my food intake. And besides, as a teenager you just don't think you're beautiful.

Fortunately, I had a lot of therapy, from the age of twelve to eighteen. It makes you work very hard on yourself. Through therapy, I finally got to know my true self. When I found out around the age of fifteen that I had autism — which no one can tell — I was able to focus on that. I used to be fantastic at being the person others wanted me to be. But now, I have learned to set my own boundaries and not to expect myself to be able to do everything.

As a young girl, I got a lot of stares and comments from men about my breasts. I was always ahead in my physical development and already wore a bra in primary school. I had to go to a special shop to buy one quite early because I had large breasts and a very slim body. Large breasts also mean back pain. So a breast reduction was the solution. You wouldn't believe how many men said to me at the time: "Oh, what a shame" and "What size are you going to be now?"'

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